I wrote this little piece last week on vacation. I was trying to find a way to communicate to my daughter what she means to me even though at times having a teenage daughter can be uh um interesting. I know it's a little different from my other posts, but parenting is a journey and one that I am grateful to be experiencing! I just wanted to share.
"Mom, you're so weird" is a phrase I hear daily out of my 15 (soon to be 16) year old daughter. Unfortunately I do not agree with her at all. I think I'm a pretty cool mom. I think I dress okay, meaning I would never be caught dead going to Wal Mart in pajama bottoms. I love to shop, wear makeup, have an open mind concerning pre-martial sex, birth control, and same-sex marriage. I love to travel and experience the world and I love to read. The latter being the no #1 pastime of said daughter.
None if this means anything to her! Honestly when I found out over 16 years ago I was going to have a daughter and knowing by choice that this was going to be my only shot at parenthood, I was overjoyed! I dreamed of a close Mother-Daughter relationship that was all hugs and kisses. A relationship where she would come to me with every question and problem and in my infinite wisdom I could offer advice and a good shoulder to cry on.
So far it has not worked out that way....
I think in the back of every mother's minds this is what they dream of.
As a child my daughter was headstrong. She used to have temper tantrums to shake the heavens, but then come cuddle with you. She would spend hours playing with dolls and didn't mind being alone.
She was always a daddy's girl who wanted to spend all her time with him and liked everything he did. Even at this age, she has maintained this special bond with him. This was always something I was thankful for. There is something to be said of a solid Father-Daughter relationship. It is widely known that if your daughter has a loving, involved father figure in her life when she is young, it will be a model for strong healthy relationships with men in the future. If her strong relationship with Dad follows that statement, I have nothing to worry about!
On the other hand-relationships between mother and daughter are one of the most complex and complicated.
Those toddler temper tantrums may be a thing of the past, but to replace that are these teenage mood swings (aka teenage temper tantrums) that leave me to believe she is from another planet. Also don't get me started on that glare that can only make me want to duck for fear of a dagger passing over my head. Actually I have felt my hair move already! True story! Plus who can forget the ever popular eye roll.
On occasion her true self comes through and she has an incredible sense of humor (as her tweets clearly show), and a mind of her own where she does not go along with the crowd, she's artsy and has a great style all her own, plus she stands up for herself.
Honestly as many times as she says I am weird or she locks herself in her room when I am trying to talk to her or get her to do something, my love for her never waivers. I never feel the need to tell her I hate her like my mom told me once. I love spending time with her going shopping (which she is not a fan of-totally unlike me), camping when it's just us two, watching movies (we both love movies), and listening to her on the rare occasion when she wants to fill me in on her life.
So she can call me weird anytime she likes. There came a point where I thought my mom was weird too and I am waaaay cooler than my mom ever could be!! I know this for a fact since all my friends(and her friends too) think I'm cool.
I love her to death and secretly hope when she gets asked out on her first date it will be me she tells first (highly unlikely, but that's my fantasy) and when she gets her heart broken for the first time, she will cry her eyes out on my shoulder and maybe for a single moment she won't think I'm so weird.
Yes, having a teenage daughter can be trying at times, but I consider myself lucky and only have to deal with the trivial stuff. It could be a whole lot worse. I guess I may never have that " I think my Mom is the greatest" kind of relationship with my daughter, but maybe someday my hope is she will just look at me and say "Mom, I think you pretty cool and I love you"
Please note: I am an incredibly patient person. I have to be.....
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